“Clean your finger before you point at my spots.”
― Benjamin Franklin

I’ve never seen a high-level performer criticize people working hard to become high-level performers.

But I’ve seen many mid-level performers criticize anyone who dared to dream bigger.

Be careful who you listen to.

“We say that we believe God to be omniscient; yet a great deal of prayer seems to consist of giving him information.”
― C.S. Lewis

Instead of complaining about politicians, pray for them.

Instead of denouncing Church leaders, pray for them.

Instead of fighting with your neighbor, pray for them.

Instead of criticizing your children, pray for them.

Instead of blaming your parents, pray for them.

“Leaders inspire accountability through their ability to accept responsibility before they place blame.”
― Courtney Lynch

Balancing empathy and accountability with an underperforming team member is critical—not only to get them back on track but to ensure the entire team stays aligned. Here’s how I’d handle it:

1. Address the Issue Head-On
   Start with a direct conversation. Clearly communicate there’s an issue and what’s expected. Outline the standards and the gaps in their performance, reinforcing that those standards aren’t just for the organization; they’re to help everyone be their best.

2. Listen
   Before jumping to conclusions, listen. Maybe they’re experiencing challenges at home, lack clarity in their role, or are burned out. By listening, you can understand if it’s a communication problem, a skill gap, a motivation issue, or something personal. See the situation from their perspective, and try to uncover the root of the problem.

3. Provide Clear Feedback and an Actionable Plan
   If someone’s struggling, they need clarity. Lay out specific, achievable goals and a timeline to see improvement. This is where accountability plays a big role. They need to know you expect improvement and will follow up on it. It’s not personal; it’s about performance and success.

4. Support and Check-In
   Let them know you’re in their corner. Offer resources, mentorship, or training, but don’t micromanage. Touch base with them regularly. Show them they’re being supported while still being held to a standard.

5. Maintain the Standards
   Ultimately, the team’s success and the mission come first. If improvement doesn’t happen, you must address that. It could mean reassigning them, providing additional resources, or, if necessary, considering a different role for them. The team deserves a leader who’s empathetic, but also someone who doesn’t let standards slip.

Balancing empathy and accountability means understanding their challenges, setting clear expectations, and following through. Always show respect for them as a person while making it clear that results and standards matter.

“The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”
― Mark Twain

Navigating mixed messages is never easy. You hear one thing, start down a path, and suddenly you find yourself running in the opposite direction trying to keep up. It can be a high-stress situation that looks like a team of six-year-olds chasing a soccer ball.

So, how do we deal with this chaos? Like so many things in life, step up and lead.

1. Own the confusion. If the message is mixed, it’s your job to clarify it. Take the initiative to ask for specifics.

2. Repeat back what you heard. Say things like, “It sounds like you need…” or “It looks like you want…” etc. It’s okay to be wrong in your understanding. Your boss might say “Yes, exactly.” or “No, what I mean is…” Either way, you get the information you need to move forward.

3. Understand the cost of getting it wrong. E.g. “If she means X, I’ll do Y, but if she means Z and I do Y, that will be a problem.” This will help you address specific risks, and move forward in a rational way.

4. Manage your emotional response. When you feel like you’re receiving mixed signals, instead of immediately reacting, assess your emotions first. Make sure you’re in a good state to hear and understand the message even if the communication is poor.

There’s never a shortage of mixed messages, but they signal an opportunity to practice leadership. Embrace these moments as chances to grow and demonstrate your leadership skills, whether or not you hold a formal title. How you handle these situations sets the standard for everyone around you.

“The office is a prison of the mind.”
― Sahin Boydas

Remote work is always enhanced when you start thinking async, even if you don’t work fully async.

Examples:

• Instead of asking, “When do you want to meet?”, propose a time and two alternates.

• Instead of sending a Slack message like, “Can I ask you a question?”, ask the question.

• Instead of waiting for a meeting to explain a process, document it.

When you start thinking asynchronously, you empower your team to be more efficient and productive.

“The shorter way to do many things is to only do one thing at a time.”
― Mozart

You can’t multitask. No one can.

You can pretend to multitask, but that’s an efficiency and effectiveness nightmare.

So stop giving half-effort all the time, and start giving full effort some of the time. Be present in the moment and focus on where you are right now.

“Your Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while all the Company is true.”
― Galadriel, The Lord of the Rings

I love the word “yet.” It adds hope to a sentence. It implies there’s more to come. The story isn’t over.

Kids don’t ask, “Are we there?” They ask, “Are we there yet?” They know there’s a future with unlocked potential on the other side.

Just think about how “yet” can unlock optimism and positivity:

• “I not strong enough.” → “I’m not strong enough yet.”

• “I haven’t found the one for me.” → “I haven’t found the one for me yet.”

• “I’m not very good at this.” → “I’m not very good at this yet.”

• “I haven’t reached my goals.” → “I haven’t reached my goals yet.”

• “I don’t fully understand.” → “I don’t fully understand yet.”

• “I can’t do it.” → “I can’t do it yet.”

• “I’m not where I want to be.” → “I’m not where I want to be yet.”

• “I don’t know the answer.” → “I don’t know the answer yet.”

Next time your self-talk starts spiraling toward negativity, try adding a “yet.” A little hope and anticipation can go a long way.

“I only have ‘yes’ men around me. Who needs ’no’ men?”
― Mae West

1. Whatever you say, boss! (I don’t want to be fired.)

2. It sounds like a great idea! (I want to be left alone.)

3. That’s exactly what I was thinking! (I want a promotion.)

4. I’ll find a way. Follow me. (I want to win.)

“Embracing chaos might be the path to finding peace.”
― Rachel Hollis

Everyone’s life is filled with all sorts of chaos. It’s impossible to escape, so you have to deal with it. Anything else is running away and hiding in fear. But acting out of fear will only introduce you to even more chaos.

Instead, confront the chaos head-on. Embrace the challenge, and seize opportunities through decisive action. The chaos will continue because you can’t control everything, but you can control yourself. You can keep your mind clear, your strategy simple, and your attitude positive.

“He who hesitates is sometimes saved.”
― James Thurber

You don’t have to solve every problem right now. More often than not, short-term solutions lead to long-term failures. Instead, aim for steady progress. Gain a little ground each time.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to not have all the answers right now. What’s important is moving forward, learning, growing, and improving.

So resist the urge to rush into a quick fix. Instead, take a step back, look at the bigger picture, and keep your eyes on the prize.