“The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”
― Mark Twain

Navigating mixed messages is never easy. You hear one thing, start down a path, and suddenly you find yourself running in the opposite direction trying to keep up. It can be a high-stress situation that looks like a team of six-year-olds chasing a soccer ball.

So, how do we deal with this chaos? Like so many things in life, step up and lead.

1. Own the confusion. If the message is mixed, it’s your job to clarify it. Take the initiative to ask for specifics.

2. Repeat back what you heard. Say things like, “It sounds like you need…” or “It looks like you want…” etc. It’s okay to be wrong in your understanding. Your boss might say “Yes, exactly.” or “No, what I mean is…” Either way, you get the information you need to move forward.

3. Understand the cost of getting it wrong. E.g. “If she means X, I’ll do Y, but if she means Z and I do Y, that will be a problem.” This will help you address specific risks, and move forward in a rational way.

4. Manage your emotional response. When you feel like you’re receiving mixed signals, instead of immediately reacting, assess your emotions first. Make sure you’re in a good state to hear and understand the message even if the communication is poor.

There’s never a shortage of mixed messages, but they signal an opportunity to practice leadership. Embrace these moments as chances to grow and demonstrate your leadership skills, whether or not you hold a formal title. How you handle these situations sets the standard for everyone around you.

“The office is a prison of the mind.”
― Sahin Boydas

Remote work is always enhanced when you start thinking async, even if you don’t work fully async.

Examples:

• Instead of asking, “When do you want to meet?”, propose a time and two alternates.

• Instead of sending a Slack message like, “Can I ask you a question?”, ask the question.

• Instead of waiting for a meeting to explain a process, document it.

When you start thinking asynchronously, you empower your team to be more efficient and productive.

“The shorter way to do many things is to only do one thing at a time.”
― Mozart

You can’t multitask. No one can.

You can pretend to multitask, but that’s an efficiency and effectiveness nightmare.

So stop giving half-effort all the time, and start giving full effort some of the time. Be present in the moment and focus on where you are right now.

“Your Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while all the Company is true.”
― Galadriel, The Lord of the Rings

I love the word “yet.” It adds hope to a sentence. It implies there’s more to come. The story isn’t over.

Kids don’t ask, “Are we there?” They ask, “Are we there yet?” They know there’s a future with unlocked potential on the other side.

Just think about how “yet” can unlock optimism and positivity:

• “I not strong enough.” → “I’m not strong enough yet.”

• “I haven’t found the one for me.” → “I haven’t found the one for me yet.”

• “I’m not very good at this.” → “I’m not very good at this yet.”

• “I haven’t reached my goals.” → “I haven’t reached my goals yet.”

• “I don’t fully understand.” → “I don’t fully understand yet.”

• “I can’t do it.” → “I can’t do it yet.”

• “I’m not where I want to be.” → “I’m not where I want to be yet.”

• “I don’t know the answer.” → “I don’t know the answer yet.”

Next time your self-talk starts spiraling toward negativity, try adding a “yet.” A little hope and anticipation can go a long way.

“I only have ‘yes’ men around me. Who needs ’no’ men?”
― Mae West

1. Whatever you say, boss! (I don’t want to be fired.)

2. It sounds like a great idea! (I want to be left alone.)

3. That’s exactly what I was thinking! (I want a promotion.)

4. I’ll find a way. Follow me. (I want to win.)

“Embracing chaos might be the path to finding peace.”
― Rachel Hollis

Everyone’s life is filled with all sorts of chaos. It’s impossible to escape, so you have to deal with it. Anything else is running away and hiding in fear. But acting out of fear will only introduce you to even more chaos.

Instead, confront the chaos head-on. Embrace the challenge, and seize opportunities through decisive action. The chaos will continue because you can’t control everything, but you can control yourself. You can keep your mind clear, your strategy simple, and your attitude positive.

“He who hesitates is sometimes saved.”
― James Thurber

You don’t have to solve every problem right now. More often than not, short-term solutions lead to long-term failures. Instead, aim for steady progress. Gain a little ground each time.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to not have all the answers right now. What’s important is moving forward, learning, growing, and improving.

So resist the urge to rush into a quick fix. Instead, take a step back, look at the bigger picture, and keep your eyes on the prize.

“Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one’s self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily; and why older persons, especially if vain or important, cannot learn at all.”
― Dr. Thomas Szasz

Dedicated beginners often approach learning new skills better than many experts. The beginners focus on fundamentals. They observe and emulate the example of more experienced people. They seek guidance and feedback. They stay humble.

If you find yourself stuck on a plateau and not making progress, go back to the beginning. Go back to how you started, rekindle that fire you had in the past, and push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Remember, progress isn’t always linear. Stay committed to growth and improvement, one step at a time.

“A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born with — a man is what he makes of himself.”
― Alexander Graham Bell

If you seek strength, acknowledge your weaknesses.

If you seek honor, confront chaos.

If you seek courage, face fear.

If you seek respect, be humble.

If you seek confidence, challenge yourself.

If you seek mastery, practice like a beginner.

If you seek independence, learn discipline.

If you seek adaptability, don’t quit.

If you seek wisdom, learn from failures.

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. He is considered successful in our day who gets more out of life than he puts in. But a man of value will give more than he receives.”
― Albert Einstein

Whatever team you’re on, family you’re in, or customer you’re serving, always add value. Focus on adding value instead of doing the minimum to get by.

Add value as a father or mother.

Add value as a brother or sister.

Add value as a son or daughter.

Add value as a teammate or coworker.

Add value as a coach or player.

Add value in sales and service.

Add value as a leader or guide.

When you focus on adding value at all times, the people around you will flourish and you will become the best version of yourself.